Devina Divecha's Journals

One of the most stupid things to say to special needs families

I’ve heard this line a million times, and believe me when I say that I constantly want to punch whoever says this ridiculous line to me:

God only gives special needs children to those who can handle it”

… or any variation on the same.

Honestly … if that’s the only thing that comes to mind when you speak to a special needs family, I’d kindly ask you to shut your trap.

Seriously? You genuinely believe that every single family that has a special needs child born into it is capable of handling it? I’ve seen tremendous success stories, and I’ve also seen what modern lingo would call ‘massive fails’.

Not just a failure in terms of getting the child what s/he needs to become independent (oh trust me, there are loads of parents/caregivers who don’t do squat to improve their charge’s situation), but there are occasional cases where children are mistreated, injured, or worse case scenarios, killed/murdered [see this post for example: Autism is Not an Excuse for Murder: A Mother Selfishly Takes Her Son’s Life] … thankfully rarely seen in the media, but it happens.

I don’t need explanations on the divine mysteries of why it happened, this is not what this post is about.

This post is about me asking you, politely, to never spout this nonsense ever again.

  1. Do parents of special needs children need training? | Autism & I Avatar

    […] even though I’m not a parent, is when well-meaning outsiders say something ridiculous about how you wouldn’t have this child if you couldn’t handle it, blah blah and frankly, I would argue with that. […]

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