Let them stare if they want to.

Guest post by Adita Divecha, Karan’s mother

Karan never cries when he hurts himself.

What I mean is that if he bangs into a table or chair or if he falls he does not, like other kids, start crying or rub the area where he got hurt. He will just sit down somewhere and perhaps start playing with his ball or just lie down on the bed.

I come to know he has hurt himself only if I see a bruise after a few days. I don’t think he can relate the pain of hurting himself to crying. At times after I see a bruise on his body with any swelling and if I touch it, he has even started laughing hysterically.

Of course this does not mean that he never cries. He does cry at times, suddenly, without warning and starts hitting himself on the sides of his head. Sometimes so hard that his forehead and sides become red. At such times I feel so helpless…is his head paining? Or is it his stomach? Ears? Or is it because a sound upset him? Or the tone of my voice? All I can do is to stop him from hurting himself further is to hold his hands down and calm him down by speaking in a firm but calm voice. These episodes last for at least 30 minutes to one hour.

I have also found that he calms down faster if I sing his favourite songs to him. At times when I hold his hands down to stop him hitting himself , he grabs my blouse with his teeth as if to bite me. He has torn many of mine and Devina’s clothes like this. I used to get embarrassed earlier when he used to behave like this in public as people would stare at him as if he was badly behaved, but now I don’t care what they think.

Let them stare if they want to.