What I Thought of Sex and the City 2

I’d watch this movie for Liza Minelli’s rendition of Beyoncé’s “All the Single Ladies”. And maybe to see the white camel.

Four women who haven’t aged very well running helter-skelter around New York City (with one of them who humps anything that moves) then jet-setting to “Abu Dhabi” to unleash their “modern” views – that is what Sex and the City 2 is all about.

After hearing all the terrible reviews, I decided to go see it myself; I was also curious about the portrayal of “Abu Dhabi” (I keep using quotation marks because as you might know, the movie was filmed in Morocco) in the movie.

I left the cinema wondering what the story was all about. However, unlike Avatar, SATC2 had no spectacular imagery or 3D effects to allow me to brush away the faults in the story. Oh I’m sorry, did I say this movie even had a story? Apologies.

The movie starts off with showing us what life is like for the quartet two years after the first movie. All of them are shown to have problems. One has to deal with menopause (so she takes loads of hormones to keep her libido up), one has quit her job (oh no, does this mean she has to stay at home? *gasp*), one has her hands full with two children (her full-time nanny doesn’t count because of her bouncing assets or something) and one complains because her husband doesn’t want to eat out every night (she asks if he hates her because she’s a b**** wife who nags. Uh. Yes.). As you can see, their lives are fraught with problems that real women face. However, a chance at a break appears! Like a mirage (<sarcasm> See how I cleverly threw in a desert reference? </sarcasm>)! They have a chance to go to “Abu Dhabi”! They go there and things are well. Or are they? Watch the movie to find out! Or not. Trust me, I’m saving you your Panadol tablets.

Now, here are some of my random thoughts after watching the movie (Spoilers ahead. But then again, do you care?):

• Making a character in the movie who is supposed to be an AUH (Abu Dhabi = AUH) Sheikh say “Dubai is over” is not an excellent plan when trying to release the movie in the U.A.E.
• When Carrie Bradshaw openly stares at a niqabi and saying that watching her eat french fries under a veil is way more important or entertaining than anything else…it was just ridiculous.
• Excellent move (and here I am being sarcastic) at getting one of the characters arrested for having sex on the beach.
• Taxis is AUH have been shown to be way more battered than I imagine they are.
• “How do mothers without hired help do it?” – Uhhhh because they’re more concerned about their family than their cream skirts?
• Another ridiculous conversation that went something like: “Where do I make reservations tonight?” “How about we eat take out?” “We ate take out twice last week!” “Uhhh…” “I already told you I don’t cook!” This couple spend their entire life going out to eat? And their only choice is reservation or take out? HOW is this woman supposed to be an icon or role model when she can’t do ANYTHING? Look, I’m no amazing cook myself (nor do I like it very much), but I, for the life of me, cannot imagine eating from restaurants every day for the rest of my life. I’d go bonkers.
• Highly amused to see a group of women wearing abayas and veils suddenly take them off in a dark room in front of the quartet to reveal Louis Vuitton and other glamourous fashion. Not normal clothes mind you, but cocktail dresses. Because women walking around in the souk at mid-day always wear cocktail dresses underneath their abayas. Again, I KNOW that many times, at parties or whatever, when it’s only women, they take off their abayas to reveal glamourous clothes. But really…in the middle of the souk at noon? Really??? Really???
• “Haanji” is not yes in Arabic.
• Did Samantha really have to hold packets of condoms and perform a thrusting action in front of the huge crowd in the middle of a souk in “Abu Dhabi” screaming “Women have sex!”?
• Laughs were forced; humour was flat in most places.

Personally, after seeing the movie, I am quite confident that the scenes or lines in the movie which the makers had to have known would cause an uproar, were there exactly for that reason: to gain publicity for the movie.

It doesn’t work though – when I left the cinema, I just had a headache. Maybe next time (oh, the horror of another movie like this) they might think of an actual story line instead.